The sweet smell of success

Mou Chakraborty
Kolkata, February 19, 2007
With the board exams just around the corner it is testing times not just for the students but also their parents. Most parents expect a lot out of their children, and sometimes it might lead to unforeseen circumstances.
So what should you do if you discover that your child’s results were below expectation? “If the child performs badly in the examination the parents should never throw a fit about it. Instead of being visibly angry or sad parents should support them and encourage them,” Dr. Aniruddha Deb, psychiatrist.
After exams are over, often teachers and guardians show their displeasure at the child’s performance. In extreme cases, this might even lead to suicide. “It is horrible to see how parents scold their children and physically abuse them just after they come out of the exam hall. The tutors sometimes join the scolding brigade and it is this attitude towards the child which leads them to commit suicide,” said Shiba Prashad Mukhopadhyay, general secretary of All Bengal Teachers Association (ABTA).
“If parents treat the marksheet and the examination as the central focus of their child’s education and turn the child into their wish-fulfillment machine, then they will be sorry later,” he added.
According to Bula Bhadra, HOD of the sociology dept at CU, parents should never ask the child after he comes out of the exam hall how much he or she would get. Instead they should always cheer them to perform with the best of their abilities for the next exam.
“Parents increasingly have the tendency of pressurising the child to perform well in the exam. What they do not understand is that not every one is capable of becoming an Einstein. If the child is not good at studies he may be good at games, art or some other activity. We do not understand why parents do not try to explore other talents of their child. After all a renowned musician might earn more than a blue chip company manger,” said Abhijan Bandhyopadhyay, teacher of Patha Bhavan School.
But why is it that parents expect so much of their children? This is either concern over the child’s future or simply a case of keeping up with the Joneses. “Most of the children in our building are going to IITs. If our child cannot even get to pursue science after Madhyamik, it will become a matter of social prestige for us. More over his career will be uncertain,” said Ruma Ganguly, whose son is taking the Madhyamik this year from Jodhpur Park Boys School.
We must blame such parental pressures and expectations on our socio-economic conditions, says Prof. Bhadra. “But the root of this problem is the underdevelopment of India. There are not enough jobs and the only way to get established is by outperforming your competitors. Indian parents will have to learn the art of parenting where they do not push their child to mediocrity, by pressurising to perform, but help them to explore their talents,” she added.
mou.hindustantimes@gmail.com